The Overall State Of Things
Time for a rant, I think. And this one comes quite nicely under the heading of 'British television'. A few things to chat about, and first, it's going to be the National Lottery. These guys, for some reason, have become insanely chatty, for lack of a better word, and it takes away any sincerity it once had. It's like, 'yay, we're giving away lots of money, now let's make a dyslexic joke and hope no-one notices.' Very odd to watch.
While we're on the subject of dyslexia - who caught England game the other night? I think it was Crouch who had 12 on his back and 21 on the front and on his shorts (who, incidentally, I really want to call Barty, nice and casual like). But the commentators were battling it out not to make a dyslexic tailor joke, and it was just brilliant seeing them dodge the issue saying things like 'a slight mistake on the part of the designer there, Trevor, ho ho ho.'
Next, adverts. Has anyone seen that Electrolase advert for laser eye correction? One of those ones where they get people who've all had the treatment and force them on pain of death to say something nice about it. There's a woman who introduces it at the beginning. Now, I may be wrong, but I've watched the advert as much as possible and I am forced to one conclusion - she's not wearing a stitch of clothing.
From this, we can draw the fact that we need more naked people trying to sell us things, even if this does draw us ever closer to Lee Evans' vision of 'UNF UNH AUGH... CAR INSURANCE!'.
There is a better side to Britain's advertising. I am, of course, talking about the revival of the McDonald's World Cup campaign. Has there ever been anything more genius than 'you're going home in a painted narrowboat', the excellent 'we're not sleeping any more', or the simple and sublime 'free one, free one'? Didn't think so.
News jiffy now, and I swear to God these are actual stories from Look North.
Firstly, there's a story about people addicted to cutting themselves in Sheffield. I never knew it was a hotbed for such activity, to be honest. But it opens with the headline:
"Now, it may shock some of you to know that some people feel so depressed that they cut, and even slash, their wrists."
Fair enough. Decent headline, if a little patronising, but I guess that's for the old Yorkshire dears who sit around thinking the world is happy and shiny. But then this follows.
"...sometimes even with razors."
No shit. What else are they going to use? I have an image in my head now of a goth sitting in her bedroom at noon with the curtains closed, furiously slashing at her wrists with the edge of a piece of paper.
Secondly - a Liverpool man has been charged with benefit fraud for claiming he was paralysed from the waist down, for two years, when he was actually fully capable. How was he caught? He was spotted training for a marathon.
On that, I leave you.
While we're on the subject of dyslexia - who caught England game the other night? I think it was Crouch who had 12 on his back and 21 on the front and on his shorts (who, incidentally, I really want to call Barty, nice and casual like). But the commentators were battling it out not to make a dyslexic tailor joke, and it was just brilliant seeing them dodge the issue saying things like 'a slight mistake on the part of the designer there, Trevor, ho ho ho.'
Next, adverts. Has anyone seen that Electrolase advert for laser eye correction? One of those ones where they get people who've all had the treatment and force them on pain of death to say something nice about it. There's a woman who introduces it at the beginning. Now, I may be wrong, but I've watched the advert as much as possible and I am forced to one conclusion - she's not wearing a stitch of clothing.
From this, we can draw the fact that we need more naked people trying to sell us things, even if this does draw us ever closer to Lee Evans' vision of 'UNF UNH AUGH... CAR INSURANCE!'.
There is a better side to Britain's advertising. I am, of course, talking about the revival of the McDonald's World Cup campaign. Has there ever been anything more genius than 'you're going home in a painted narrowboat', the excellent 'we're not sleeping any more', or the simple and sublime 'free one, free one'? Didn't think so.
News jiffy now, and I swear to God these are actual stories from Look North.
Firstly, there's a story about people addicted to cutting themselves in Sheffield. I never knew it was a hotbed for such activity, to be honest. But it opens with the headline:
"Now, it may shock some of you to know that some people feel so depressed that they cut, and even slash, their wrists."
Fair enough. Decent headline, if a little patronising, but I guess that's for the old Yorkshire dears who sit around thinking the world is happy and shiny. But then this follows.
"...sometimes even with razors."
No shit. What else are they going to use? I have an image in my head now of a goth sitting in her bedroom at noon with the curtains closed, furiously slashing at her wrists with the edge of a piece of paper.
Secondly - a Liverpool man has been charged with benefit fraud for claiming he was paralysed from the waist down, for two years, when he was actually fully capable. How was he caught? He was spotted training for a marathon.
On that, I leave you.
posted by Will Templeton at 10:48 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home