exapnding your literacy.

Much akin to Nappy Rash (a book by my dyslexic brother-in-law(no, really)), Ben just has the most amazing way of getting his point across in his blog. It is, like I just said to him, as if there's a piece of his brain on the page.

Go take a look-see.

honk, honk.

Funniest thing ever. Remember how I was on the Middlewood Way and this dude almost rammed me from behind (WITH HIS BIKE YOU TWISTED INDIVIDUALS)? Well I was walking through the same part of the path today, and as I was walking underneath the underpass/bridge thing I heard the gunning of a motorbike engine, getting closer and closer, roaring like crazy.

I kept carefully calm, knowing that he wasn't going to run into me, he wasn't stupid, he'd just go straight past.

I could feel the sound coming to meet me. It sounded like a full-on Harley ticking over at a rate of knots just over my left shoulder. I resisted the urge to look around.

Cue what can only be described as TEH SMALLEST MOTORBIKE EVAR tiddling past me at just faster than walking pace, with two 6' scallies hanging off it. I almost wet myself with laughter.

a response to myself.

"Now I'm off to eat a celebratory meal. I hope it's tasty."

OMFG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING TASTY IT WAS

speaking of superheroes...

I made some headway with my Batman costume and it looks damned awesome. However, having trouble finding a couple of choice items. If anyone has some medium-sized black gauntlets, could they tell me? Also the whereabouts of a decent motorbike supply shop for the boots.

Cheers.

champagne supernova...

Just saw the ending of the episode of the OC where Seth and Summer kiss in Spider-man stylee. Is it me, or is that amazingly awesome?

Electroplankton shipped today. I should get it before Saturday, which would be amazingly cool. Also by the end of June Pac Pix, Yoshi's Touch and Go and Another Code will be out.


I need to buy them and use them as revision incentives, I think.

hilarity.

< neo_alex > my maths teacher who looks like gandalf set us a fucking hard half yearly exam
< neo_alex > i was just expecting him to go "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

expenditure.

Been a while since I played my DS. I guess the games just got a little bit too easy - Wario Ware's fun for a laugh but isn't that great for longevity, Mario's getting a bit tedious having to collect all 100 coins on every level, and Polarium's insanely difficult.

So to make up for it, I bought Electroplankton. I'm really interested to see how it turns out, and I can't predict a UK release, so it's been imported. Hopefuly it'll keep me plinking about my DS for a while. It was only about £25, too.


In other news, it's several people's birthdays today. Happy birthday to Peel's, Siân's and my mother respectively. Now I'm off to eat a celebratory meal. I hope it's tasty.

a conversation with god.

A short piece of prose I wrote today. I don't know whether it makes sense or not, but enjoy.

Darkness, then a sudden light. After the eye adjusts to the brightness of the kingdom of Heaven, the soul is left with such a sense of wonder – everything you see, you are seeing for the first time. Your eyes are truly opened anew – it’s like being a newborn child, mystified at the beauty and solidity of the world, but mature enough to realise and appreciate it.
And how real it is! Not a physical being on the planet could begin to speculate about the sense the soul gets while it is there – at one time, you are still what you can call ‘you’ – that vague bundle of sensory perception, the familiar shape of humanity, a set of beliefs that wander and cross at every available opportunity. And then up to the Gates you glide, to meet St Peter.
The Gates – the beginning of your transgression to spirit. Only to the most closed-minded do they appear as the giant wrought-iron barricades to pass through. Only to those who believe they will go to such a place actually go there in their own minds. After death, all beings are consigned to the same fate – it is only the soul’s perception, which is shaped and formed throughout life, that creates the individual afterlife.
To those with a broader mindset, those who believe there is an explanation, but want to explore possibility before a prescriptive approach, see it for what it really is.
No queues for Judgement. No withered saint at the gate, consigning fate to those who come to it. Just a never ending stream of consciousness, each one on its own separate journey, weaving its way, endlessly.
And that is what you become. A string of emotion and perception, unbound by reality, able to perceive whatever you want. You are your own St Peter. During your life you shape your Judgement, and after death you enact it, only bound by your thoughts and actions.
And so I came to the Lord. The Creator. My beliefs in childhood were vague at best, all I knew was that it had to have been done, at some point. I had no concrete thoughts about death, life, afterlife – I knew what was happening now. I cared not for the future.
He told me. The Answer. And it was logical.
In the kingdom of Heaven, where one is committed to the boundaries of one’s own imagination, to create a world on another plane is not a difficult task. To think of another Universe and to be its God is a trifle to while away a short afternoon. To be present during the course of Life is unnecessary – all that is needed is to think of a single moment, and the timeline stretching away either side of it. To live for the moment, in one’s own perception, is the answer to the Universe.
For what is the Universe if not a string of moments? Passing from one to the next, if indeed we do. We can only ever experience one moment – how do we know that the others are not falsities, created by our own sphere of consciousness to aid our spirit in the path of the Moment?
Is this then not, He spake unto me, the way of all life? That the kingdom of Heaven is created in one’s own life, and is indeed embodied in that life? To live for the moment is the only way to live. To live for the past is foolishness, as it may never have happened, only evolved from a mindset so needful of a Reason. To live for the future even more so – to be stuck in one moment negates a sense of future time.
Death is a death of the mind, not the body. An yet, only for a given value of ‘death’ – not a decay, but an evolution from something to something else, flowing naturally into a consciousness of the state of being that has been all along what we are.
The Creator was just another part of my own consciousness, playing along as I saw fit. We are all our own God, living in our own world we create for ourselves, living in search of that one Moment we aspire to, being the bliss that allows outside observation, achieving utter enlightenment.
You are subservient to yourself. There is no God but the one you create, as you create your own world. Live for now. The Moment is what you make of it.

something extremely cool.

Bookcrossing - aside from being a wonderful neologism, it's a wonderful concept. Imagine - you're finished with a book, and you don't want to throw it away. So you donate it to charity. Why not stick a little note inside to help you track where it ends up? Even better, why not stick the note inside and just leave it on a park bench somewhere as a random act of kindness? Someone finds it and their life is enriched in some small way, not least their faith in mankind's generosity...

I plan on leaving The Restaurant at the End of the Universe on the Upton or broken Cross somewhere, sometime next week. Look out for it.

maturity of the year award.

[21:27] =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): [Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{6DF4B99CE39E} - Urguay 
[21:27] *** Auto-response sent to =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): I am currently away from the computer.
[21:27] =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): [Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{9CEA624306EF} - Must Kill Moe 
[21:28] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed off at Sun Apr 24 21:28:47 2005.
[21:42] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed on at Sun Apr 24 21:42:17 2005.
[21:42] =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): [Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{9CEA624306EF} - Must Kill Moe 
[21:42] =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): [Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{6DF4B99CE39E} - Urguay 
[21:45] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed off at Sun Apr 24 21:45:37 2005.
[21:46] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed on at Sun Apr 24 21:46:28 2005.
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[21:53] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed on at Sun Apr 24 21:53:04 2005.
[21:53] =>Damage Incorperated<=(s): [Messenger Plus! Sound] - Data{6DF4B99CE39E} - Urguay 
[21:53] *** "=>Damage Incorperated<=(s)" signed off at Sun Apr 24 21:53:12 2005.


...maybe you should start paying attention.

poking for noise.

I think I'm going to import Electroplankton. It just looks great. Exactly what the DS embodies - pure fun, without any boundaries.

Do a google.

rampant in today's society!

Just a quick note to say that I was outraged by BBC Three advertising 'Teen Angles' the other night. That is all.

pope idol.

Take a look at these. I think it's only fitting.

The first one appeared in the recent edition of the New Statesman. The other two are from Battle Pope, a most excellent comic.

Note the cigar, and Jesus (the spunky sidekick) picking his nose.

I have a black and white scan of one of the pages for Battle Pope somewhere. I'll post it at some point. It's awesome.

number one.

number two.

number three.

fifteen seconds.

I just remembered I'm actually in the JB DVD - what a fool. I'm SO getting this. :p

rag and bone man.

I've been given the offer of fixing Meggison's faulty second PS2, and if I do, I get it. For a moderately small fee, of course, but I'm glad to pay it if I can actually fix the thing. I'm fairly sure I can.

I also picked up a couple of games just now from Amazon. Vib Ribbon and Ape Escape. Took about two seconds to do, and I was quite astonished. I need to watch not to fall into the trap of buying things just because it's easy.

So yes, Vib Ribbon and Ape Escape are on their way to me now, ready to be played in a refurbished PS2, hopefully. By next month I might have built up a decent game collection for it.



I'm quite interested to see how Vib Ribbon works. It's bizarre - I'll be using a game that's about five years old with a bunch of CDs that range from a few years before to one I just bought today. Funkay. :p


Oh - the CD was Jem's Finally Woken. It's actually really good - I only bought it based on the greatness of They, but I really like it. It's something I can just listen to, have on in the background.

Woot, I guess. :D

haha.

[02:14] ::: jbdvdmosal - rock on :::: oh - my mate says try ssx tricky
[02:14] I'm nice, really.: I DONT DO EA
[02:14] ::: jbdvdmosal - rock on :::: no, this is before they were a multinational bitch of a corporation who it's in vogue to hate.
[02:14] I'm nice, really.: theyve always been shit
[02:14] I'm nice, really.: ALWAYS
[02:14] ::: jbdvdmosal - rock on :::: yes, but this is before it was cool to hate them
[02:15] ::: jbdvdmosal - rock on :::: so you can hate them in a retro way by playing an old game and hating it. and still be PUNX!
[02:15] I'm nice, really.: ive always hated them
[02:15] ::: jbdvdmosal - rock on :::: that's the spirit!

bedtime for me now.

[02:12] Whippednerd1M: he's pulled things I would have been banned for permantly for
[02:12] Whippednerd1M: lol
[02:12] Whippednerd1M: but i'm getting there. People are starting to like me and accept me more.
[02:12] Whippednerd1M: lol
[02:13] willeththefourth: yeah you just need to grow up a bit and stop being so much of a simpering little dick.
[02:13] willeththefourth: no offence.

JUMP BRITAIN DVD!

Why did I not see this before? Why wasn't I told?! Grr...

This DVD looks awesome, though, and I'm not just saying that because it's a family thing. Commentaries by both director and producer (hi Mike :D), the traceurs themselves, and one by the 'Making Of' guys. Not only that, but something I'm now really excited about - DVD-Audio soundtrack.

That's right, one of the first commercial video DVDs from the UK to also use DVD-A. And what a soundtrack to launch it on! I think I might get an iPod just to play these on. And I'm definitely getting the double pack when it's out.

And Bazariah's invited me down to London on the weekend just before it's released! A scant two days! And I might be there all week if Doug's Ministry of Sound thing is close to it.



Oh yeah - Doug's breaking at MoS and has got Scott and I free tickets if we can make it down there. Bazariah's birthday party is on the 28th. JB release is 30th. Doug's gig is somewhere around there on a weekend. And my first exam is June 15th, so plenty of time to recover.

Rock. On. Summer starts early, folks.

wild side.

You'd never believe it - I found the first Kid Chameleon strip while hunting in my loft today. Yes, all six issues of Sonic the Comic (running from issues 7 to 12) that contained it. They probably aren't very valuable, being ripped to pieces and drawn on by their previous owners, but I can still get some decent quality scans, at least.

And that's what I'm going to do. Scan in all six issues of the KC strip and shove them into a PDF. That way at least they'll be immortalised... it's one of the most - if not THE most - influential comic strips on my life. I'm pretty sure that Casey was all I aspired to BE when I first started reading STC. It's kinda cool that I'm not far from him now.

amazon's turned into viggars.

Better than Viggars turning into an Amazon, I guess, but still.

I went to amazon.co.uk - you've probably heard of it - and entered 'ipod 60' into the search box.

It comes back with this:


"All Products search: we were unable to find exact matches for your search for "food" . Would you like to search again?"


Yes, I bloody would. And for the right search term, too.

Anyone got £310 that they could just... give me? I want to geek out.

I know EVERY WEBSITE EVER.

[12:38] Ben: Oh, yes. I've found the best website ever.
[12:38] ::: I HAVE A COMEDY UMBRELLA :::: oh yeah?
[12:39] Ben: THE BEST WEBSITE EVER. Have your F5 key ready to refresh.
[12:39] ::: I HAVE A COMEDY UMBRELLA :::: mky
[12:39] ::: I HAVE A COMEDY UMBRELLA :::: is it http://www.4q.cc/vin
[12:39] Ben: Damn you!!!!]
[12:39] ::: I HAVE A COMEDY UMBRELLA :::: muhaha.
[12:39] ::: I HAVE A COMEDY UMBRELLA :::: you lose at the internet.

worth every penny.

Great comedy moment today. Came out of Tesco and popped my umbrella, suave as you please, in one fluid motion - and the end flew off. Then, with perfect comedic timing - POP - it opens.

Cue me just standing there holding an umbrella handle. Best umbrella ever. Siân was almost crying with laughter.

Will post video as soon as I can. :p

Penny Arcade occasionally does something that makes me wet myself.

midnight in america.

I should really stop this late-night posting, do some work, and then I can get some shuteye. I'm going to need it, too. I'll have enough time to grab maybe an hour before I go and see Derren Brown tomorrow night, and I'll need every ounce of alertness to make sure I can a) follow his every movement and b) not fall asleep.

Wish me luck.

the internet is great.

Having tried in vain to find the site I got that Vin Diesel quote from, I entered 'vin diesel facts rosebud' into Google. I got this.

'How do you french kiss ryan
... They re-traced their path kiss in french down, nearly to her rosebud, ...
I was vin diesel screensaver almost shocked at the condition of the ...'


Bloody hell. I was vin diesel screensaver almost shocked at that site description.

a game within a game.

Way back when, there was Sonic the Comic. Even further back, it had a strip in it based on the Mega Drive game, Kid Chameleon. It was awesome, and I only ever read about 80% of the first run. And try as I might, I can't find anything on it on the Internet.

If anyone knows of it, could they contact me? willeth at gmail dot com.

double drat.

...I really want my tattoo done. I'm just doubtful about job opportunities because it'll be visible on my hand. Dilemma...

hehe.

"May as well try and punch God."

I can't fucking wait for Sin City. Or Batman Begins. Constantine was a bit of a disappointment... but comic book movies are now two or three great ones to every abysmal one. For each Daredevil Batman and Robin or Catwoman, there's a Spider-Man and a Hellboy.


...YES.

quotimus.

"If you pretended to break YOUR arm I'D come and help you."

number two.

for doug.

we're in the money.

Just worked out that I should be getting paid just over one hundred pounds tomorrow. And I actually have nothing to spend it on, which is great. That means I can save it, and by next week be able to afford a PSP, admittedly with no games. Still, Another week and I CAN afford games.

The only question is, should I wait until I go to America, or should I just get one now? I'm sure that will be decided when I go into Bits & Pieces today and have a good play on it.

disturbing.

A girl and her mother came into to work the other day. Probably about eight and thirty in age. They were both singing 'Love Machine' by Girls Aloud to each other, with mirroring slutty dance movements.

This girl knew the word 'negligée' and everything. *shudder*

the most amazing idea.

The day before we get out of school, we somehow get hold of three pigs. We spraypaint the numbers 1, 2 and 4 on them, and let them loose in the school. Then we wait and see how long they spend trying to find the third one.

and now, a random fact about vin diesel.

When Vin Diesel died, the last word he uttered was "Sled". That puzzled a lot of people, because Vin was allergic to snow. After a thorough investigation, it was discovered that "Sled" was the name of a rose bud he was cultivating at the time.

NINTENDO DS ANNOUNCED!

New handheld for 2004! GBA 2 also in development! Start wetting yourself now!

Nintendo has announced it intends to ship an innovative new games console in 2004, currently codenamed Nintendo DS. The 'DS' stands for 'Dual Screen' - which is the only clear fact in an extremely mysterious statement.
The DS will have TWO back-lit 3in TFT LCD displays, similar to the screen of the GBA SP. These will be aligned vertically and flush, so they can be used as one big screen. Nintendo, though, plans to use the screens separately in revolutionary games software.
The example it used was a football game showing a broad view for passing and a close-up for skill moves, but we think there's more to it than that.
The console will have two processors (the brains, basically). An ARM7 like the one that powers the current GBA and an ARM9 that's mostly used in high-end mobile phones and PDAs. The games will come on rewritable memory cards, which Nintendo claims are a s cheap to produce as DVDs. The unit will run on a rechargable battery like the GBA SP.
Nintendo expects to have two or three games ready for launch and has confirmed Miyamoto is eagerly working away. You can expect them to make use of their famous characters like Mario. Third parties such as Namco and Konami are also on board.
Crucially, the announcement also referred to "additional features and benefits" whic, once revealed, would show "the innovative advance in game interaction". This device is not the follow-up to GBA, as Nintendo of Japan's Yasuhiro Minagawa reiterated, "this machine will be completely different from anything that exists right now. The next generation of Game Boy is [also] well into its development. It will be a machine that competes directly with Sony's PSP."
Here at NOM UK, we think that it's these "additional features" that are the key. Nintendo has announced the twin screen, but that's not enough to distinguish it from a GBA in the way it intends.
What do we think is going on? Well, as always, we're willing to offer some educated guesses.


TILT CONTROL

Cryptic remarks from Nintendo prior to the DS announcement described the new machine as something gamers could use without having to look what their fingers were doing. This points towards some kind of unusual control system, possibly of the motion-sensor type that Nintendo pioneered with Kirby's Tilt'n'Tumble on GBC.


WIRELESS NETWORKING

Nintendo wants you to play together. They're giving away a wireless GBA adaptor in Japan with Pokémon Fire Red and Leaf Green and are committed to connectivity. Now they have the tecnology mastered, it's surely a must have for the DS.


A CAMERA

Sony's EyeToy is massive all over the world and Nintendo itself is looking into cameras for games in a big way. This was shown by the airing of the bizarre Stage Debut at last years' E3.


N64 GRAPHICS

With an N64 successfully miniaturised for the iQue, nintendo could use the same technology in the DS. The Nokia N-Gage manages to reproduce PSone games with its ARM9, so technically it sounds quite feasible. Maybe iQue was a stealthy testbed for the DS?




...found that while cleaning out my room, dated March 2004. Odd how they were just - not exactly, but just - short of the mark.

kind of sad, isn't it. this was supposed to be posted on firday. but blogger sucks.

ahh, distraction.

It is, on some levels, a marvellous thing. Used to no end in the cunning arts storytelling, sleight of hand, and... LOOK! A DEMONIC DUCK OF SOME SORT!

I say this only really because I just latched on to a main plot line of The Coffee Achievers, a comic drawn by Mitch Clem, the artist of Nothing Nice To Say. It wasn't a huge moment of genius, or anything - he practically spelled it out for his readers - but it's great to see a little sleight of pencil, as it were.

Basically there's one bloke - Phillip - who can't get a girl, and so gets a wicca friend to brew him a love potion. But, instead of giving him one with the essential ingredient - baking soda - she gives it to him with salt in.

Next story arc. Another guy - Fletcher - finds a mix tape that enables him to fly, heal very quickly, and appear as a monster to everyone else. So far, so Hocus Pocus.

Third story arc. Fletcher has a party, to which the Phillip is somehow invited. Fletcher steals Phillips drink, and remembering an episode of an old sitcom, adds baking soda (DUN DUN DUNNN) to it, in order to make it froth in an amusing manner. He gives it back to Phillip. Phillip gives it to his intended betrothed.

And laughter surely ensues.